Banana Shake

I'm finishing up a reflective paper on Madeleine L'Engle's Walking on Water. While I've read A Wrinkle in Time and know she's super famous and the bit, I don't think I knew her until this book. Like, really know her. She mentions things that I didn't realize other people also thought about, and that is a sign of a good writer...someone who gets me out of my own little world and let's me think bigger. I recommend it. She relates her Christian faith to her identity as an artist, but my assignment in class was to replace "artist" with "minister" every time I read it. As far as I'm concerned, you can replace "artist" with "mechanic" or whatever your profession is, because this replies to everyone trying to understand life and their place in it.

It's time for something quick, tasty and that will satisfy my super sweet tooth that comes out when I have to (procrastinate and) write a paper.

Dairy-free Banana Shake
3 bananas, peeled and frozen for 2+ hours (in freezer, duh)
1/2 t. cinnamon
1/3 cup milk (I used light vanilla soy)
Optional: handful frozen strawberries, 2 TB nuts, unsweetened coconut, chocolate syrup, anything you'd put on an ice cream sundae)

Blend bananas and milk in your blender for 2 minutes. Line a glass with chocolate syrup. Pour half of shake into glass. Scarf.
 

Happy eating! 
Laurel

Imagine a world...

IMAGINE A WORLD...

Where all of your projects were completed BEFORE the deadline...way before.

Where plans don't change and disappointments don't happen.

Where people can all cook...really well.

Perhaps my rose colored glasses are permanently stuck to my head, or maybe I'm just really, really happy.

WHY, you might ask?

I'm lounging on the couch with a fever and a nasty "virus" (according to my dr.) that is neither fun nor relaxing. Because of this plague, I missed an event yesterday that I've been looking forward to--and working toward--for 6 months. Frustrated by my sickness and hard work poured into this project, I was ready to scream, stomp my feet, and start throwing things around in anger. Instead, I just teared up.

The event is an annual to-do sponsored by the City, called Project Homeless Connect. It serviced hundreds of homeless in the community plus others that we might never know it helped. What a BRILLIANT IDEA, putting all of the social agencies in one big room, a one-stop shop for anyone off the streets who needs food, housing, clothing, a pair of glasses, a haircut, medical services, education, substance abuse treatment, counseling, job training, etc... BRILLIANT!

But I learned something really important. The show went on without me. And it went on REALLY WELL, too. People were assisted, volunteers did all they could, agencies gave out invaluable resources. It was really great. It didn't need me.

However, I feel this little secret bit of gratification because all of my hard work payed off...I just didn't get to see it in person. But I've been getting emails and phonecalls today from people who were so glad of how the Project went. As a social worker and a minister, I recognize that there will be times when I will NOT see the fruit of my labor and not be a part of the end result of my work. That's okay, because I know I did my best. And the people who needed yesterday got what they came for. What a blessing.


On one other little note, Mountains Beyond Mountains is an AMAZING BOOK!


And, to keep it food related, I made THE MOST SINFUL DESSERT IMAGINABLE
 after sub-par Tex-Mex with my friend Melissa from North Carolina. Melissa is amazing...someday I'll share more about her. There are 2 Melissa's in my life, and they are so different and so fun!

Okay, back to the sin..

I was sitting at this popular Mexican restaurant and thinking, 'Wow, this enchilada and taco are really not as good as people think.' So I started dreaming about dessert, and this is what happened...

BAM! The BANANA BOMB

Step 1: Fry a sliced banana in olive oil.

Step 2: Fry 2 white flour tortillas. (sensing a theme?)

Step 3: Assemble & add some whipped cream and chocolate sauce on top.

Step 4: Drizzle honey over pile of sugar happiness to give a "sopapilla" feel.

This heart attack on a "special plate" is ready for devouring!

Okay, so this is what it is not:
1. healthy
2. nutritious
3. low fat

This is what the Banana Bomb is:
1. Freaking fabulous
2. Tasty
3. An occasional treat
4. Super awesome
5. Full of cinnamon, honey, banana-y, chocolatey, whipped goodness!

So the "good" outweighs the "bad," and it DID make me feel special. My friend/mentor Carla gave us this plate, and it has been used a couple of times for special occasions. We mark on the back the special occasions with a special pen. The honey jar is one my grandmother (Mama) gave me years ago--it's from a trip we took to Meridian and a farm in Laurel, Mississippi. I was missing her and thought this was the golden opportunity to open up this bad boy of honey happiness. After all, wouldn't she be proud that I added fruit (and named the recipe after a fruit) to this concoction??? Haha, maybe...

So cheers to a great evening with a wonderful friend, at a crappy Mexican restaurant. And cheers to loving life and feeling special!

~Laurel

22 degrees

It's a sunny 22, according to Weather.com. I'm sitting in my gray leggings, gray wool dress, and leather jacket, ready to take on the world. But alas, I don't have a desk right now at my internship site. There have been a HOARD of interns coming in this week, so we have to share and make it work. For now, our lovely tan couch in the den will do.

So, how has life been lately, you might ask?

Well, the holiday season was special and difficult, too. There were some I did not get to see enough of (quick 5-minute visits) and others that I felt I couldn't be around too much. I'm being vague, I realize, but God certainly humbled me this holiday season to open my eyes to His love and His mercy and not dwell on the problems and injustices around me. I'm talking mostly about things here in Waco and things in my own circle of friends and family. I've been given an IV of peace in the last couple of weeks, and I am so grateful for that. I hope you have had a WONDERFUL holiday season with friends and family and that you found peace and joy amidst the hustle and bustle.

Just off the plane in Honolulu. Is it a sin to wear a scarf in Hawaii?

Here is a recap of my holidays:

Working at the pharmacy
Wrapping up my grant project at Baylor
Baking cookies

A fun little "The Cluthes" sign for our home

Finding out there is extra grant money, so I'm back on the project at Baylor
Christmas Eve singing in the choir at church (with Dad!)
Christmas Day at Mom and Dad's &
Missing the Kansas family
The Day after Christmas in Hawaii!



Matt & I mostly enjoyed being with family and RE-LAX-ING, something I forgot how to do last semester. I didn't realize how hard the last 5 months have been until I was able to step back and see the pitiful state I was in by December. Self-care is something we ALWAYS talk about in class but SO DIFFICULT to actually do! Who has time? Well, I think I'm going to have to do more self-care or I will be no help to others.

Oh, Hawaii was GOR-GEOUS! The people, the food, the sites...amazing. I wondered why my parents would pick one of the touristy places in the country on the busiest week in their whole year of tourism...and then I saw the beach and the house we stayed in...then I understood.

Dinner cruise at sunset

It was beautiful, simply beautiful. And when I looked past the Prada and Dolce stores and behind them toward Waikiki Beach, I knew why we were here. God was there, and it was really easy to see His beautiful creation on those crystal blue waters and the soft, tan sand between my toes.

A beach near Hanauma Bay...it's not fake, I promise, but a lil windy

We stayed right by Waikiki, and the house sat by a large city park. People of all ages were running and walking and picnicing in the park, so it was quite encouraging. I even took a couple of long walks that week and felt so alive among the Banyans and the cool waters. I know, I know, it was a touristy place, but I actually had a wonderful time. We're ready to go back...for maybe a month...after I sell my right arm and kidney for the trip expenses. If you have a chance, go! If you've been already, go again! It's marvelous. I thank my Mom and Dad for such a memorable trip...their generosity never ceases to amaze me, whether or not I'm on the receiving end. Matt & I got closer on the trip, and it was wonderful to have my cousin Jeremy there to bring the humor. :)

Homemade beverages

My idea of heaven...beautiful beach, amazing people to be around and no makeup!

A ship at Pearl Harbor. (AKA the only time I'll ever touch a gun)

My cousin Jeremy and I being Texas dorks

The Duke

Dorks at the Honolulu Cookie Company

Delirium at the airport

Happy January, as you start school again or just try to stay warm! Love to you all.

Waco so far

Classes have started again, and I jump into year three of grad school headfirst. These last two years have been the most challenging and rewarding times in my life thus far. I'll recap a bit.

Summer 2008

June: Put final touches on Matt and my dream wedding, finished up my time at South Main Baptist Church and was sent off to seminary with so much support and love.

July: My dearest friends and family were around me all summer until the wedding. July 12th was the most beautiful day I had ever experienced, not because of the fluff and the fancy, but because I had genuine, loving people around me as Matt and I publicly professed our love to each other and committed our marriage to God. It was special to me that day, but that act becomes more sacred and personal to me each day after the wedding. Costa Rica was an amazing getaway honeymoon. The day after we got back from our honeymoon? Leading music at a children's church camp! I have a wonderful husband. Then we moved to Waco after the 5-day camp.

Fall 2008: Stress, stress, stress. Not only are we just trying to get the hang of being married (okay, really I'm having to learn how to share for the first time in my life!), we are figuring out the foreign lands that are Central Texas. There is no live music in sight, and we played hide and seek finding the artistic culture the rest of the month (we're still working on that one). 

Money was the main stress then. It was horrible. But, somehow, we were able to pay our bills, buy textbooks and live frugally as much as possible. The most stressful part of grad school is not the reading, discussions, and long papers. It's the money! It's the stress that comes with wondering every day if you made the right decision to come to grad school and spend all of your time stretching and growing your faith and sense of calling, when all you really can think about is how you're going to pay rent this month or if buying groceries is even an option this week. (Okay, sorry, a tangent.) My point? It was a challenge. But the hardest part was that my beloved grandmother was sick, really sick, and I didn't know what to do. She was so supportive and enthusiastic about me going to seminary, but all I wanted to do was quit and go home and take care of her. She would not have it, though.

Spring 2009: Throughout the struggle, God kept showing me that this was exactly where he wanted me. It helped that my peers were--a number of them, at least--in the same boat. They were trying to make all of this work, too. Day 1 of seminary was a shock to the system--there are 2 creation stories in Genesis! Why did my Sunday school teachers not talk about both creation stories!? But what doesn't kill us makes us stronger, right? And I was certainly lifting heavier weights by this time. God was right there, this whole time. Still job uncertainty, a bad fit with a good church, and money stresses.

Summer 2009: Why do we live here? When do we get out? Can't Baylor be in another town? Is it physically possible for me to pick up the seminary's building and carry it on my shoulders a mere 90 miles to Austin? Oh, I would do that in a heartbeat! Anyone have King Kong's cell #? But this summer was a time to breathe, allowing Matt and I to get closer.

Fall 2009: My grandmother was still sick, my parents and uncle and aunt were running on less than fumes, and I wasn't able to be there. It was hard. I had come to peace with her death (and, really, her full life) which came during Thanksgiving. I miss her daily but God have me a supernatural peace when she died. I truly feel I need to live with her legacy in mind. Filling big shoes on a little woman, for sure. (Although she did wear size 7 1/2 extra narrow, she still had big shoes to fill.) Christmas was strange but peaceful. I got closer to my mom, dad and Matt, for sure.

Spring 2010: Matt and I finally came to a place of peace of where we live. No, it's not for us forever, but it will do for now. And having a job at a grocery store, where I'm around real people with really fascinating lives, was the most humbling and substantial parts of my education thus far. Not even all of those overnight trips to NYC to promote a band or support my musician buddies could prepare me for some of this stuff. My eyes were opened.

Summer 2010: Financial peace. Security. Heat. What a warm summer, but what a great Sabbath. This time of rest has been amazing. But now it's time to get the road on the show and dive back into our mission.

Fall 2010: Here we are. Literally. (The name of Matt and Chris' new album.) Here we are, living and learning and doing our thing. We're excited about things to come, grateful for things that have passed, and living in the moment that is the present. I'm taking one "pastor" class at the seminary and the rest are social work classes. I LOVE IT. This is exactly where I need to be. 

Here We Are, and who knows where we'll soon be?

Lessons

I learned a really big lesson on my way to class this morning; some might call it a God moment. My tired eyes concentrated on the highway as my mind raced until -bam!- it landed on one simple phrase:

You have taken all of me, just as I am,
And are moving me to be closer to who You are.

It's a simple phrase, really, and it isn't even all that profound. But I found such richness in that phrase. God has taken a person who loves other people, but can be really selfish at times, and He is using that person to do things that are bringing that person closer to being like Him. I realize that this has little to do with food, but is heavy on the memoir side. Here a few reasons why I am thankful today:

I've been given the opportunity to get 2 master's degrees...an education that people around the world only dream of
2 deans are taking a chance on me to help them write their next book, and it's on a topic that they have lived and struggled through all of their professional lives
My husband has been an amazing rock in an incredibly treacherous part of my life
Key friends and family members have really encouraged me, even when I'm boring them with too much info about school
While I am stressed about money, school, life in general, forgotten people, policies & systems that aren't working, and my role in how I'm going to help make some sort of difference, FOOD and FAMILY have been amazing outlets in this fine balance of keeping it all together.
On any given day, I am wrestling through some problem that is bigger than me, but by some miracle, I usually sleep very soundly at night with little tossing and turning.
By the grace of God, I have just enough confidence to listen to people, hear what they're saying, look around and learn from others, and feel that I can do this--I can play a part in making life better for some people.


I don't talk about this a lot, and I certainly have never written the following out for all of the world to see online, but here's what I've really learned since moving to Waco:

Degrees don't matter. (the non-degreed are some of the wisest...they lived it) (if you aren't constantly asking questions inside yourself about the world as we have it today) (if you don't have tools for the taking)

Honesty and being completely real with where we are is crucial if we are to move forward.

Despite being overjoyed/triumphant when I FINALLY got a job at a grocery store deli, making $7.50 an hour (with a college degree and 1/2 a masters...how humbling), I WILL NEVER KNOW being poor like my neighbors and others around here. There's not an amount of role-playing or thinking or discussion or books in the world that can give me that education.

Life is hard, and God continues to be good.

I'm not sure exactly what I've gotten myself into, but I guarantee it's sticky and too late to back out now.

People need listening ears, love, and God's understanding, even if you never use the word "God."

Working 50 hours a week is nothing. Adding 15 hrs of grad school on top is tricky. But doable.

There's nothing like laughing. Nothing.


SORRY this has been a little heavy...I tend to go there sometimes. But it's not too mushy, I hope. I've learned a lot in the last 2 years. My first final is next Friday (3 of them that day!), and I'm nervous and weary, but this morning's lesson from God has given me renewed energy and purpose for why I'm combating these 4 years here. I am so thankful...even when there's a scholarship dinner tonight, I'm hosting a table, and have 3 papers to write afterward. I'm still thankful. I hope you find new ways to be thankful in your own life today. May God bless you in surprising ways.

(Sam is sleeping on the crook in my laptop...his little black hairs will be a nice souvenir on my little white computer.)